"Have you chitted your potatoes yet?" says Parsnip Paul as we wait for the kettle to boil. (I still can't get over how big they are!)
My head is buzzing - what on earth is chitting? Better look it up in my trusty book - wouldn't want to appear foolish.
Okay, so I need to get my seed potatoes and put them, rose end up, (that's the end with most eyes) in an old eggbox in a cool light place so that they can get started. Okay. I can cope with that. Better head down to the garden centre and buy some seed potatoes.
So there I am, staring at the labels. Earlies, second earlies, maincrop? What's all that about?
I grab a pack of maincrop (cos they're a nice colour) and head home to get chitting.
A bit later on one of my loyal slaves calls round.
"I'm chitting," I tell him.
"You need to chit your earlies and your second earlies," he says. "It's not worth chitting maincrop. In fact, it's really probably not worth you growing maincrop at all. Just grow earlies and second earlies."
Oh bother. I'm chitting the wrong potatoes!